Crushing the Grape

Apparently willpower is finite. We only have a certain amount to use each day and when it’s gone it’s gone. If you want to crack the cane, or break some other unhealthy pattern in your life but it’s taken all you willpower to get out of bed, do that early morning jog and work out your finances for the month you are probably going to struggle as your reserves of willpower will be quite depleted.

Mark Sissons, of Primal Lifestyle fame suggests the way to work through this problem is to remove as many decisions as possible. Even Steve Jobs, one of the founders of Apple computers, appeared to adopt this principle and wore the same style of clothes everyday. This enabled him to begin his day with one less decision to make.

For many years I’ve been repeatedly making choices in one particular area of my life and to be quite honest it often consumed me. I would wonder, worry even, that I was getting it all wrong. I didn’t what to have to think of it, no, I just wanted to go with the flow and open that bottle of red when my body told me to. However this presented me with a dilemma.

I knew that regular alcohol consumption could become a problem and I wanted to avoid that. Also, my awareness, connection and lucidity were dialled down a notch after a glass or two of wine, even the following morning. Having a busy future ahead I need to hand around in this reality for a few decades yet and don’t want anything to threaten that.

So, I would decide to have a month off. A week off. I’d not drink during the week, ok maybe just on Wednesday’s sometimes. Or as a treat. After a long day. Maybe a dry January. This went on for years, in fact I’ve spoken to countless folk who go through the same list of questions in their minds too.

Deep within me I was aware that perhaps this thing had a hold on me in some insidious way. Maybe this habit was in control of me and taking away a part of my freedom, well-being and connection to spirit. Perhaps it was even, or could become, a threat to my much needed longevity!

Yet even though I felt these daunting thoughts I constantly had this mild sense of inner battle that maybe I couldn’t break free. Eventually I decided that if I continued to feel concerned I would seek therapy to assist me in this dusty corner of my life. I didn’t though and chose to muddle on through.

I wasn’t a heavy drinker, not by a long straw. However I did realise that I allowed the thought of alcohol into my consciousness more frequently than I was happy with. Surely that thought process was crowding other stuff out?

It’s 8 o’clock so can I have a glass now..? Shall we (I) open another bottle..? Am I doing myself harm..? I’m feeling fuzzy this morning so maybe I won’t drink tonight..? Shall I have a week off..? Why have I let myself down again..? Has this got a hold on me..? Do I need to just stop..? Can I open a lager now, or would it be bad of me..? Perhaps as a wind down after running a drumming circle, would that be ok..?

Maybe you too recognise some of those questions. And on top of this I would walk into the shop and be amazed at just how much alcohol was being sold and how ‘dumbed down’ the population was becoming. Me too!

So I asked my guides to show me the way, show me my teacher. I was shown a flowing river where I was busy digging a precious gem from out of the banking. Not many days later my youngest daughter told me of her decision to stop drinking forever and I instantly knew that’s what I needed to do. To remove that particular decision from my life and no longer need to apportion a huge chunk of my willpower to that aspect of me.

She had bought, and strongly recommended a book, ‘Kick the Drink Easily‘ by Jason Vale so I followed suit and ordered it from Amazon. This proved to be the gem that I dug out of the flow of information that passed through my life and I devoured it over a couple of evenings and from that point knew without a doubt that I would never, ever, drink alcohol again. I wouldn’t need willpower. It simply wasn’t going to happen. I didn’t want to drink again.

I wa dumbfounded at how easy the book made it, it was as though I didn’t have to make up my mind, convince myself or bother about cutting down. No I just stopped. Just like that. No more. There it was, a difficult pattern of thirty years knocked on the head.

It is a particular kind of book and certainly not for everyone. Specifically it’s not for those who want to cut down consumption. It won’t help there at all. As the book points out once you have another glass of wine or half of beer you are back under it’s shadow. ‘Kick the Drink Easily’ is purely for people who want to do just that. To stop drinking for the rest of their life, or rather to never even want to drink again.

It’s a kind of aversion therapy book which not-so-subtly brainwashes the reader into a deep dislike of alcohol but I was ok with that. I wanted to stop without the expected battle of will.

And now I’m reaping the benefits of a clear head, a sharper mind and more switched on senses. Everything is brighter, has tighter edges, smells louder and is a part of me. The dislocation has gone, my will is stronger as I have more spare each day and I’m able to settle into each evening without having to make awkward choices for the rest of my life.

If you too feel that you would like to step onto the wild side, stop following the crowd and claim your individuality by becoming non-dependant grab yourself a copy soon.

Crush the grape and find more freedom.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Nice article Jason and yeh could be a touchy subject but you have put it across really well. Whilst reading the article I have thought this is a good idea and I should get the book and in the next thought thinking maybe just wait until after my holidays, so I see exactly where you are coming from. 🙂

    • Thank you Kevin and yep! That’s exactly the problem I had. Tomorrow, next week, whenever! Choosing to do it Now proved so empowering for me. Grab the book and once you’ve begun to read it you will be inspired to set your own date. 🙂

  2. Inspiring! Something that’s been on my mind too, so thanks for sharing..but maybe think twice about supporting and promoting Amazon? Local book shop instead?

    • Thank you Pensca, I appreciate your thoughts. Local bookshops are always a choice for those who live near one. 🙂

  3. Hey great stuff Jason, welcome to/on the wagon!

    I crushed the grape nearly a decade ago now, I would never have believed that there ever could be alcohol in my home and I wouldn’t want/need to drink it – but that is my life now. 🙂

    I found support through a website called My Way Out – brilliant for me

  4. Hi Jason this takes me back 40+ years I used to be a heavy drinker though in my mind I was a mild drinker, but often went to the pub with friends and colleagues and often drove under the influence of drink(I’m ashamed to admit this now) I was taken ill and had to see my GP and I went for a check up and he asked if I smoked no I replied having been smoke free for 12 months. Did I drink yes how much do you drink per day? Up to this point I haf never thought about it but it worked out I was drinking 5-8 pints per day.
    He also asked me a lot of other questions and to cut a long story short informed me that I will not see 35 years of age. So like yourself I dropped the habit I still very occasionally have a pint or Half a pint.but as I say these are few and far behind.

  5. Hi Jason!
    A very pertinent and important issue for me past and present! I know family and friends , probably like many of us, who’s lives have been ruined and destroyed through Acohol abuse! The stuff your self and Nicola wrote on Self- Care also resonated deeply! Sounds like a good book to read ! Thanks for posting ???

    • Hi Craig
      Thank you for your comments. Yes, we know of many who have messed up their lives, and the lives of loved ones, by this habit. It’s good to know there’s a way out if only folk realise it. The book is an excellent read.

  6. I love the fact that it is one less decision to make. The whole “finite amount of willpower” thing and reducing decisions. This really was yhe thing that stood out in this blog for me. Although i don’t drin…just because i don’t get the urge…maybe twice a year or something like, i do have the sugar issue like Nicola.
    Could this book be applied to other sibjects too?
    Well done Jason in recognising the inner wisdom speaking to you, and herding yhat advice. How often do we ignore that voice because we want to do what we are doing for just a while longer? X

    • Thank you Lisa. Yes, it’s that whole thing of clearing more space in the mind isn’t it! The book wouldn’t really help with sugar to be honest as it’s very much centred on alcohol. There are numerous other titles on the market which could help with sugar though, I’m sure a little research would give you some options. x

    • Oh thank you Rachael. It was a tough one to write as I did indeed feel quite exposed, however it was worth it. x

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